Walking the tightrope of nuance
“In this culture of ever-increasing more, I hope the next generation can know when to reach higher and when to make peace. ”
Inspired by the TEMA letter project, Cecilia Zhang talked to her grandfather about his experiences. Growing up in poverty, Zhen Yu Zhou got to know both sides of humanity: the evil and the good. In his letter, he shares his hopes for the future and encourages us to always consider both sides of the coin.
My name is Cecilia, the granddaughter of Zhen Yu Zhou. My grandfather would often recount many of his experiences to me as bedtime stories. As a child, I wasn’t able to see how these stories were not only just tales but complex philosophies and experiences that affected my grandfather's entire worldview and way of seeing. Through the experience of recording and transcribing my grandfather’s words, I found the ways each story connected to the next, all coming together to build a richly complex and nuanced worldview. I will hold his advice in my heart for the rest of my journey ahead.
Dear Reader,
My name is Zhen Yu Zhou. This year, I am turning 80. I’m a Chinese Canadian. Though many have surely lived similar lives, though I am unable to see the world outside of my own perspective and though my experiences only account for an infinitesimal fraction of the human experience, I do hope, dear reader, that you will find my story worthwhile.
I grew up in one of the poorest areas of China in a farming family. Though we had a small plot of land, the climate never allowed the earth to produce much yield and my five siblings and I would often go hungry. There was very little of everything. Once in my childhood, we went without food for three days. In order to obtain food, my parents melted down tinware and sold it at the market for a few pounds of soybeans. We weren’t the poorest in our village either. I knew people who died of starvation when years were really bad.
Extreme circumstances bring out the extremes of human nature. During my impoverished childhood, I saw great kindness as well as great evil. Human nature is nothing if not complex. I had a sister-in-law, who would always give a portion to beggars on the street, even when we had such little, even when giving to others meant the detriment of our own family. One time a beggar came by while she was busy and upon hearing afterwards, she went out and chased him down in order to give him something. She was forever generous, incomprehensibly so. On the other side of the spectrum, I also saw how people would use violence and power to step on others; sometimes in the name of survival, other times in the name of greed. There was this family with four strong adult sons. They were basically gangsters. In a village where there’s no police or authority of any sort, power often falls into the hands of the most brutal and aggressive. I’m very grateful that my grandchildren are growing up in a wealthy, stable country like Canada where they don’t need to witness the intensity of people who are struggling to survive. Their worldview is naive and simple and because they’ve never seen true suffering and cruelty, they like to believe that people are good. People are not good- or bad. Just complex.
I was born under Japanese occupation, grew up under Chairman Mao’s cultural revolution, spent my adulthood making sense of Deng Xiaoping’s new political policies and ended up living out my retirement as a Canadian citizen. Due to my experiences, I believe that one has very little power in determining their fate. My grandfather is a classic underdog story of how an average man, through his own hard work and intelligence, became a respected Kuomintang official and created a stable lifestyle for his family. When he died, he left my father and my uncles each a hefty inheritance, ensuring a comfortable and happy life. But as history goes, the Maoist revolution happened, all the accumulated family wealth was surrendered and my parents were punished for their social class. My grandfather, in his worst nightmares, could not have anticipated such an outcome.
Western societies often promise that through hard work, one can reach their dreams. But achievement is equal parts luck as it is effort. Because western countries experienced half a century of prosperity, they forget how helpless and small people truly are in the face of circumstance. I hope my own grandchildren will not equate effort with achievement. Such an attitude is prideful and ignorant. Instead, I hope they will work hard regardless of outcome and if they become successful, I hope they acknowledge that their success is due to a combination of luck, coincidence and hard work. With this mindset, they will not become haughty and entitled if successful nor will they become defeatist and despondent when they fail.
While my kids were in grade school, my family lived in a tiny house. In order for our children to grow up healthy and smart, we wanted to feed them eggs for nutrition. In order to feed them eggs, we had to raise chickens. Chicken only lay eggs when they feel warm and safe, so we had to keep the chickens in our bedroom, the only warm room in our house. The smell of chicken poop is revolting, but we endured it for our children. After a while, my wife wanted to build a bigger house. To build a house back then meant doing everything yourself: mixing the clay, molding breaks and building the house all on our own. The process is arduous and exhausting, not to mention, we both had full-time jobs at the time. We argued a lot about it but in the end, didn’t build one. Our neighbours ended up building one. They were very proud when it was finished. When they sold it, they used the money to set up a karaoke bar. My wife complained because before that new house, our financial situations were similar and now they were much wealthier- all due to their hard work and ambition of course. But then a few years later, we heard that one of their sons was convicted of rape and ended up in prison. The father, out of stress and grief, took to alcoholism and passed away quite young too.
Ambition is not a bad thing, but it’s easy to mistakenly think that success brings fulfillment. In a capitalist society, traits like ambition and diligence are always glorified while traits like acceptance and contentment are disregarded. I am by nature an easily-contented person. I’m more likely to make peace with my circumstance than aim for better. My wife is the opposite. She is a worker and a worrier. And though our circumstances have improved dramatically over the years, both our attitudes have stayed the same; I, relaxed and she, anxious. We balance each other out quite well, but my hope for my grandchildren is that they will find this balance within themselves. I hope that they will be equal parts content and ambitious, diligent in work while easygoing in attitude. For the level of fulfillment will always lie more in one’s attitude towards life than the circumstance of life itself. In this culture of ever-increasing more, I hope this next generation can know when to reach higher and when to make peace.
Duality is an important part of Chinese culture; yin and yang, night and day, growth and rest. In these dualities, the key is always balance. It’s easy to subscribe to extreme ways of thinking because extremes are clear cut and simple. It’s far more difficult to walk the tightrope of nuance, for nuance is hazy and confusing and uncertain, but I hope people will choose it nonetheless.